Legalistic Logistics

I ran into a gal I went to bible college with yesterday.  She seemed really uncomfortable in my presence.  I introduced her to my beloved, and shared a bit about how we just moved into the area.  He left us to catch up a bit while he grabbed some dog food.  She asked if we were living together, I said yes.  She asked if we were married.  I said no.  She asked if we had separate bedrooms.  I said no.  Then I told her that my beloved embodies everything that most "Christian" men aspire to be.  Just then my beloved returned, and we politely excused ourselves.

I find that this is a topic that brings discomfort as well as MUCH judgement, fear and avoidance from a large segment of the Christian population.  Because of this, I have written some blogs about some different viewpoints regarding divorce, remarriage and such from an open minded, yet biblical perspective.

Here is a book report that I wrote in Bible College for Marriage and Family Class.

My blog addressing the question of remarriage being biblically ok or not.

And here is a blog I wrote which deconstructs the idea of marriage vows.  If you are a Christian who is struggling with the idea of unmarried people cohabitating as if they were married, this is for you.  :)

Marriage Vows - Biblical or not?

At the end of the day, I don't care what people think of me.  I have my beliefs and values, and I govern myself accordingly.  What people think no longer dictates the choices I make in my life.

I still have Jesus, people.  But I don't allow legalism to get in the way of enjoying the gifts that He has brought into my life.  Especially my Beloved.  :)

Trouble maker!!!

Yes, I've been labeled - branded, even - as a trouble maker.

I'm a trouble maker, because I won't conform to the status quo at the church.  The status quo that supports perpetrators, and revictimizes victims.

I'm a trouble maker, because I'm not afraid to speak my mind.

I'm a trouble maker because I am a WOMAN who isn't afraid to speak my mind.

I'm a trouble maker because I won't allow people to oppress me.

I'm a trouble maker because I will stand with people who are being oppressed.  I will support them, and defend them.

I'm a trouble maker, because I won't settle for a mediocre existence where I don't have to think for myself because the church leaders are doing it for me, or my "husband" is doing it for me, or some other authoritarian entity that doesn't truly give a rats ass about what's in my heart.

I'm a trouble maker because I think for myself.

I'm a trouble maker because I actually hold religious leaders to the same standard they have set for me.

I'm a trouble maker because I point out hypocrisy.



A trouble maker - what a compliment!

By the way, the religious leaders in the day of Our Lord Jesus also branded HIM as a trouble maker.  They conspired to KILL him, and he was killed.  Is that what you want to be?  Pharisees and Sadducees?  Because that is what you are.  You're fooling yourself if you think you're being righteous.

And you leave bleeding people to die by the side of the road...

I'll take a trouble-maker label any day over that!  Thanks for ranking me right up there with Jesus.  :D

Rant... Churchy people sticking their noses in where they don't belong.

So, this guy from the church I used to attend called me up last weekend.  He cited some scripture about how, if you have an issue with your "brother" that you need to lay down your offering, and go be reconciled with him - and this was why he was calling me.  So I asked him, what is your issue?  He said that he didn't want to discuss it on the phone, and that he wouldn't meet with me alone, so he is going to bring someone, like his wife, and that I could bring someone too.  Ugh...

So I asked him, what is your issue?  I'm not going to meet you without knowing what the issue is.  He said that he had some issues with how I was behaving at the latest congregational meetings I had attended.

Then he cited another scripture, about how if you love your "brother" that you need to help "him" with his sin.  Again, UGH.  "Oh really?  I'm sinning?  Ok, how do you define this apparent sin you want to help me with?"  Again... he refers to the congregational meeting, where I read a short speech about oppression within our church.  I said, "Well, the way I see it, you don't like what I have to say, and you want to shut me up.  I'm not going to meet with you.  I wish you a good day.  Good bye."


It's just another symptom of the hypocrisy at that church.  I mean really...

Here is a wee bit more recent history...

A gal from church contacted me to let me know some things that had been happening at the church since she found out that one of the church leaders was secretly videotaping her in the shower at their shared workplace (among other things).  She and her husband were very angry and upset about that, and then they found out that the pastor KNEW that this particular leader was doing those things, for the last 5 years, and kept it quiet, and told that leader to keep it quiet also.  The gal is suing the pastor, and the church, and the leader who videotaped her.

So, the pastor didn't step down, the church didn't fire him... for a whole year this went on.  Like nothing happened.  They tried to keep the victims quiet, and wouldn't listen to them, and shut them out of things. The man who called me on the phone was one of the cronies who was trying to keep them quiet and was supporting the pastor.

Anyways, the gal called me up, and told me what was happening, and apologized for being so afraid to reach out to me when I was being ostricized.  I told her that I understood why, and that I would stand by her and her hubby as they pursued justice in this area, and that is why I was even attending the congregational meetings recently.  I haven't attended church in over a year.

So, this guy who called me, just basically proved yet again, how oppressive that environment really is.

I'm a trained counselor.  I was trained at a Bible college.  I am currently studying to be a social worker.  People in my field KNOW that you can't really address someone's apparent "bad" behaviour until you come to a place of understanding WHY that behaviour is there!  This apparent "sin" he wanted to help me with should have been at least secondary to apologizing to me for trying to shut me up during my speech about oppression at that particular congregational meeting.  He should have tried to take some time to get to know me, find out where I'm coming from, and then it maybe wouldn't seem to strange that I'd want to behave in such a way.  People aren't going to open up to that sort of confrontational standpoint.  Please...

Besides, his opinion of me and how I behave is completely irrelevant.  I've been a member of that church for much longer than he, and he started attending there just before I stopped - certainly that is a highly insufficient amount of time invested to have any kind of say in my life, or any kind of trust in him and his intentions.  I certainly would not do that to someone, and I won't let someone do that to me.  Period!