Rant... Churchy people sticking their noses in where they don't belong.

So, this guy from the church I used to attend called me up last weekend.  He cited some scripture about how, if you have an issue with your "brother" that you need to lay down your offering, and go be reconciled with him - and this was why he was calling me.  So I asked him, what is your issue?  He said that he didn't want to discuss it on the phone, and that he wouldn't meet with me alone, so he is going to bring someone, like his wife, and that I could bring someone too.  Ugh...

So I asked him, what is your issue?  I'm not going to meet you without knowing what the issue is.  He said that he had some issues with how I was behaving at the latest congregational meetings I had attended.

Then he cited another scripture, about how if you love your "brother" that you need to help "him" with his sin.  Again, UGH.  "Oh really?  I'm sinning?  Ok, how do you define this apparent sin you want to help me with?"  Again... he refers to the congregational meeting, where I read a short speech about oppression within our church.  I said, "Well, the way I see it, you don't like what I have to say, and you want to shut me up.  I'm not going to meet with you.  I wish you a good day.  Good bye."


It's just another symptom of the hypocrisy at that church.  I mean really...

Here is a wee bit more recent history...

A gal from church contacted me to let me know some things that had been happening at the church since she found out that one of the church leaders was secretly videotaping her in the shower at their shared workplace (among other things).  She and her husband were very angry and upset about that, and then they found out that the pastor KNEW that this particular leader was doing those things, for the last 5 years, and kept it quiet, and told that leader to keep it quiet also.  The gal is suing the pastor, and the church, and the leader who videotaped her.

So, the pastor didn't step down, the church didn't fire him... for a whole year this went on.  Like nothing happened.  They tried to keep the victims quiet, and wouldn't listen to them, and shut them out of things. The man who called me on the phone was one of the cronies who was trying to keep them quiet and was supporting the pastor.

Anyways, the gal called me up, and told me what was happening, and apologized for being so afraid to reach out to me when I was being ostricized.  I told her that I understood why, and that I would stand by her and her hubby as they pursued justice in this area, and that is why I was even attending the congregational meetings recently.  I haven't attended church in over a year.

So, this guy who called me, just basically proved yet again, how oppressive that environment really is.

I'm a trained counselor.  I was trained at a Bible college.  I am currently studying to be a social worker.  People in my field KNOW that you can't really address someone's apparent "bad" behaviour until you come to a place of understanding WHY that behaviour is there!  This apparent "sin" he wanted to help me with should have been at least secondary to apologizing to me for trying to shut me up during my speech about oppression at that particular congregational meeting.  He should have tried to take some time to get to know me, find out where I'm coming from, and then it maybe wouldn't seem to strange that I'd want to behave in such a way.  People aren't going to open up to that sort of confrontational standpoint.  Please...

Besides, his opinion of me and how I behave is completely irrelevant.  I've been a member of that church for much longer than he, and he started attending there just before I stopped - certainly that is a highly insufficient amount of time invested to have any kind of say in my life, or any kind of trust in him and his intentions.  I certainly would not do that to someone, and I won't let someone do that to me.  Period!

Spiritual Burn Out - Random Ramblings

I am burnt out.

It's not that I don't believe in God anymore, I'm just mostly burnt out by people and their churchy crappiness.

Now that I've been brushed off by them - I've mentioned it before - my life is much more relaxed and free.

I've been to a few congregational meetings lately, because there is a huge kerfuffle going on there as of late.  It hasn't gotten better.  It's much, much worse.

The church is being sued, the pastor is being sued, and in my opinion, they are being rightfully sued.

I guess I had hoped that being a Christian, going to church, following the doctrine, THAT would help my life work.  It kinda did in some ways.  But moreso, I think it trapped me, and held me hostage for much longer than necessary - in a bad marriage, and in the church itself.  My boyfriend calls it "misplaced optimism".  Indeed...

I'm not in a rantie mood today.  I'm just burnt.  I got rid of a bunch of Christian based books.  I got rid of some spiritually based ornaments.  I'm just really "meh" about it all, and thoroughly uninspired.

Being a Christian did not make my marriage better (obviously) and it created alot of problems I didn't need.

I'm opting out now.  Well, I opted out a while back, but I still had an inkling of hope, and a wee bit of lingering guilt.  But this latest situation

I'm not worried about my bible reading regimen, or my prayer regimen.  I think that if God is real, then He gets my ambivalence.

And what's really, kind of annoying, is that the person I was married to, who opposed my Christianity vehemently, is now doing that Christian "thang".  Oi Vey... so weird.  The funny thing is that I haven't seen it make a difference in how he relates to me... ah well.  As the bible says, "A tree is known by it's fruit..."  And one could apply that to that church I used to go to... indeed.

As Jewel says - "No longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from."

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

It's easy to get worked up when your plate is full.

I've got so many things on the go, I've had to let some things go because I'm just one person.

Look at me, I can't even write a real paragraph.  I guess my University Student brain is also on holiday...lol

The first "chapter" of this book (can it really be called a chapter?  It's 4 pages long! lol) is about setting a positive emotional climate.  Making sure that everyone has a chance for together time, and respecting individual's needs to have alone time.  Limiting chaos and noise levels at certain times.  Makes perfect sense to me.

Even the title of the book lends itself to that positivity.  When we get caught up in all the chaos, and stress out over it, we spend a lot of energy on that, rather than the things we love - like family or music and other creative ventures.

Speaking of which, I really need to finish my painting!  I need to add a song to the staff, and some strings on the guitar (and a few other minor details).  My wonderful boyfriend plays guitar, and I play piano.  We both sing.  So this is kind of a representation of us.  :)