I think of the self-help industry much how I think of the media industry. Mildly informative if you can pluck out the gems but mostly dangerous. Many of these so-called gurus need to make a living so pluck away at the fear and greed strings on the emotional guitars of their willing adherents.
Many of these people have never lost a home, lost a business, lost a wife, lost a family, and suffered real hardship but then claim the label of “coach” or “guru” and have at it. Then ten years later we hear about the sex scandals, the financial scandals, the cover-ups, the killings, the real “secrets” in The Secret.
I wish people would be honest. Instead of saying “this is how to be perfect” I wish these people would start from the premise, “hey, I’m striving also. I’m trying to figure it out. Here’s what’s worked for me. Here’s what hasn’t worked for me. And, by the way, here’s the screwed up crap I’m dealing with today. I hope I survive also.”
Just be honest. Is it really that hard in every industry to be honest? Particularly an industry that , first and foremost, about honesty? (Just like the finance industry should be but isn’t).
It's true... many "gurus" don't have an outwardly messy life. And well, when my marriage fell apart, that became SO clear. To them, I was the problem. I never claimed to be perfect, I was open, accountable, went to counseling, served at church consistently and faithfully. I was investing my time, mind and heart into this christian "family" I had found. But when life got messy, they were not there. And I was to blame (in their eyes).
I can be angry about that, but y'know, it taught me how to separate people from God. They may have a similar likeness, but they aren't the same. Relying on my church "family" isn't the same as relying on God. There is so much fear programmed into us through so many avenues, even through church (or maybe ESPECIALLY church). This fear drives many of our actions, or inactions. We are afraid to reach out because it might make us look bad. We are afraid to make a move because it might be wrong, and we need a blaring green light in our face in order to do anything. We are taught NOT to rely on ourselves because we are selfish, self sentered and all that. Ok, I get that that IS part of the package, but it's only part! The other side is that we are made in God's image, called by him, equipped by him. His love and investment in US is what makes the difference, regardless of which direction we go in life. He is still there, at the path's end of each choice. What part of I'll never leave you for forsake you aren't alot of us getting?
So I think that if we keep setting aside our ambitions and life goals in favor of waiting upon the Lord, we are insulting him. He made us, he gave us gifts and abilities, and a desire to follow up on those things. IF you trust God, If you are letting his love cast out your fear, then you shouldn't have any problem trusting yourself and your ability to make mostly good decisions for your life.
And honesty... please CAN we be honest? I saw a t-shirt once that said: "If you always tell the truth, you never have to remember anything" It's SO much easier to just be honest. It takes less energy, and you you don't have to keep track of which version of the truth you said to someone. LOL If you are honest with others about your life, you may open something up for someone else, and it will help them! I should add a disclaimer here that you don't have to share all of your "laundry" with every person you know... but you don't need to lie either. I'd rather say "it's none of your business" or "I choose not to share info about that outside of my family" than to make up some BS story to cover and make the listener happy or impressed. Truth is alot of people will be miffed if you point out that they are being too nosy, but maybe they need to hear it.
The point is that you can be honest, AND you don't have to be TOO honest with certain people. hehe
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