Friends

I have friends.  Lots of different kinds of friends.

I have long term friends, who have known me for over 20 years, and aren't insecure about me being in a relationship.

I have my "single" friends, those who are there for you when you're single, and like to go out dancing and socializing.  They are good people, but when I'm in a relationship, these are people who get to sit in my back burner.  Not because they aren't important people unto themselves, but because I'm only one person, and I just have to prioritize my life.

Its the same thing with me going to College and University.  When I'm knee deep in studying, lots of things go by the wayside.  What I do NOT want going by the wayside, is things like time with my kids, time with my lovely boyfriend, and just the daily obligations like housework and paying bills.  If any of those go by the wayside, then I become a bad person, in my own mind.

So, I have this friend.  Someone I would have once considered a really good and close friend.  We helped each other through some stuff.  It was good.  She's a great person, has a lot going for her, is a beautiful person inside and out.  And like most people, she has insecurities and sensitivities.  These are likely due to wounds she received from people in her past, such as her family of origin, and the issues regarding her divorce a few years back.  I really do understand that, and care about that.

I, too, have my issues.  They get in the way of relationships sometimes.  So, I try to not let it get to me, when my friends issues get in the way, and I hope they do the same for me.  It's called grace.  Just giving the other person the benefit of the doubt, and not taking things personally, and just picking up where you left off and not worrying about whatever silly crap got in the way.

My friend and I hadn't seen each other in a good long while.  She was going through some stuff, and even though I invited her out a couple of times, she refused.  I didn't know what her issue was, and she didn't tell me, but I didn't sweat it.

Then a good long while went by again, and she asked me out to lunch.  I accepted.  But she cancelled on me because of a work related thing.  I tried to reschedule for the following week, but she was going away on vacation, so she said she'd get back to me when she got back.  She never did.  Meanwhile, I was in a relationship again, plus going to University so I was really busy, and I assumed she was going to get back to me when she had time since she said she would.  She didn't, but again, I didn't sweat it because I understand how busy life can get.

There was this one day that I was going to tag her in a photo she took of my kids and I, and I realized she was no longer one of my FB friends.  I immediately sent her a message to her inbox, asking why we weren't facebook friends anymore.  She never replied.  So, I interpreted that as her having one of her "issues" again, and I just let it slide.

I tried asking a mutual friend about it, and when he asked her, she told him to tell me that I should talk to her directly.  Um, I tried that and was ignored.

So, I get the message.  Loud and clear. I don't know what the issue is, but I accept the outcome.  I have better things to do with my time than to chase someone else's insecurities around.  I don't hate her, but I just don't have time for that kind of drama.

Have a good life, former friend.  Take care and be happy.

Bambi

Update: we went for lunch and cleared the air and all is good. :)