People are fragile too - physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally... please handle with care...
Someone I know lost their daughter yesterday. Here is the blog about her: http://rachelamariah.blogspot.com/
I think there are so many people who are afraid to feel. Feeling means that not only do you get to feel the good stuff, but you also have to feel the bad. If I've learned anything in the past 10 years, it's to not run from suffering. Well, I still do sometimes, but less than I used to.
Keith was bugging me about being so jumpy during movies. LOL The truth is that there was a time when I NEVER jumped. I only got more jumpy AFTER I worked through the memories of abuse from my childhood. That abuse was so severe and traumatic, and the threats so strong to never tell, that I was shut down in many ways inside. Delving into those memories, horrific as they were, unlocked so many of these areas, allowing me to feel all of that pain again. But seeing and feeling the truth of what happened there also unlocked my ability to feel things in the present too! And that intense pain was allowed to seep out so that the infected wound could heal for real. I think that getting startled is a natural reflex that I now have back again. Even if I get lovingly teased about it, I'm glad it's there, because that's just one of many things that I can now feel - including to love and feel loved on a much deeper level.
It's because of this appreciation of being able to feel that I admire the choice made by the couple in the above mentioned post. They learned early on that their daughter had medical problems, at the 20 week ultrasound. They were strongly advised to abort her. Even knowing that this would be a very painful journey, They wanted her, and they wouldn't allow any person to make the decision about their child's life path. They left that up to God and walked that path step by step, never knowing if that day would be their last with her. She surprisingly survived the birth, and lived for nearly 15 months. I don't think that they would exchange that time with her, and those experiences with her in order to alleviate the pain they are feeling today.
I've learned that deeply loving always comes with deep pain. I don't want to give up experiencing love, and so I accept and embrace the risk of feeling the pain too. Pain won't kill you (even if it feels like it might). It's just a part of the human experience. You can try and avoid it, but then you'll have to be alone, and that's painful too.
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